I’ve truly learned the value of what it means to listen. Not because of my experience, but after realization:
how much we don’t listen.

People never really notice this, but when they do talk to me I watch them very carefully, even though I may not make it apparent. I analyze their body language and dissect their speech. I can tell you, I don’t believe I’ve ever stood infront of anyone that I have had a conversation with and ignored them(unless I was being distracted!).

I really do consider it an art, as many people have not mastered it(including me). There is something so
sincere and honest about people who listen.  Today, I have come to realize that THIS is a value that I will
look for in any human I deal with from now on.

The reason for me writing this isn’t because I didn’t notice it before, but I didn’t notice how much it’s lacking and what that truly said about us.

Thinking about about my experiences where people don’t listen, it’s not neccessarily because they are plugging their ears, but other gestures: not turning their whole body to you, not looking at you, long pauses after you comment which make you seem as if your talking too much, irrelavent comments made after you speak or even no comment at all.

People who listen are much more initmate. They look at you, feel and mirror your body language, they glare(which may or may not be good :] ), they react as you speak, and they little comments here and there, and they truly interact with you and your speech.

I always value  and respect the people i’ve mentioned above. It’s a quality I will now analyze futher in humans I meet.

Such a noble quality, a honourary art that we have forgotten, that of listening.

Sheikh Yaser Birjas has said the number 1 reason why marriages fail in North America is because of
expectation. Now, I don’t know if I expect much, but what I wrote below is my requirements.
Is it expecting too much.

No.

I think it’s a necessity.

Something simple and I just want to say one thing to the guy I will marry in the future inshaAllah:

I hope you’ll be my bestfriend.
I hope we will be artistic minds indulging in the depths o f life
crying at beauty
laughing at pain
wishing for the impossible
dreaming for the unattainable
living life
 being human
 and becoming all that we could be.

I pray, and I hope.

Sincerely,
Madamoiselle Depth De La Thought

(my love)(my dream)(<3)(risk matter not)

Alhamdulilah, after an inspiration I have received, from no other than the AlMighty Allah(SWT), I decided that I will be attended a film school. Right now, I need to finish my degree in Mass Communications( or media studies), which I will probaly shorten to 2-3 years. Alhamdulilah.

I am taking a huge risk in pursing my dream. But I have no other option. Doing a job I don’t like isn’t an option. My passion is my passion and I will pursue it day and night until I succeed by the Permission of Allah(Swt) or I die by the Permission of Allah(Swt).

Dream Big — Risk Big — Win Big

I’ve been through life, 18 years that is. Not long, but certainly not short. Alhamdulilah.

One thing I’ve been searching for has been a close friend. A lot of those who may know me and read this may be turned off. I have friends(some of whom I simply adore), just not close ones–once I have by my side all the time. If that offends you, I’m not going to apologize for my feelings. Their either older or younger. But does it matter….

However, I am not going to blow off those wonderful people I have met. They are simply enriching breathes of fresh air. The only downfall is that I can’t have that breeze with me all that time. I can’t have those visions, honest advices, ageless wisdoms with me all the time.

Perhaps it could be me. They say ‘you are who you attract. Well, if that is to hold true….. all I can say is that I’m trying to be a good person.

What is it that I want? People who are like minded. I’ve met inspirational people, but we can’t connect. I’ve met vibrant people, but we can’t sustain a conversation. People who are like minded to me are comfortable to be around. That doesn’t mean if I share my secrets with you, I’ll be comfortable. But does that also mean I am not inspiration and vibrant, I hope not.

I’ve noticed that time can add value to relationships, but it often only adds those that were strong to begin with.

It’s hard to have crazy-zainy-amazingly mind-blowing ideas, and have no close people to share them with. Again, it’s a comfort thing. I’m not going to just annouce my ideas to people, just because.

…so sometimes, wondering in the future, I drift. I romanticize what could be rather than what isn’t.

I have this hope that Allah(SWT) has been reserving my best friend for me–somewhere, somehow, I know that I will meet them in the future, inshaAllah.

….would it be too far-fetched to say it’ll be my future huband? I don’t think so. I just pray.
   

-depth of thought

We’ve all been there. I call it the ‘Marraige Fixation’

My Marraige Fixation start a year ago from this month.  Alhamdulilah, it’s died down for now. I still do want to get married; even if a proposal came, I’d accept, inshaAllah.

I find that the source heightens the more you get involved Islamic activities, voluteering and lecture-outings. Most of us have been to lectures or hear talks that have to do with marriage, the importance of marraige, the fiqh of marriage etc. With no options available except marraige, as Muslims don’t date, it’s hard not to get caught up in it.

and THE WEDDINGS. …

I’ve been to 3 weddings this summer. All friends, sisters, whom I adore. It was also the first time I’ve ever been to a wedding. There a lot that goes into it from emotions to excitments, to money and materalism.
This undoubtely wants you to start daydreaming about your day…the decorations, the theme, your dress, your makeup, the music and especially, who it’s going to be.

I can tell you I’ve already found the music for my future wedding and the theme( a purple soiree) inshaAllah:] Hehehe.

A lot of us young ladies go through this. Unable to entertain the thought until we finish school, most of us have defied that. 2 of the 3 sister married are still in school. No one said that you couldn’t be.
The university I go to is full of brothers. People always and still say ‘you’ll find someone’. Maybe I will; Mybe I won’t.

Oddly, enough, I’ve just stopped looking after I had started. Sure, I’m open to the idea, but since my mind has been open to occupying it with different things after my year-long longing for a husband, I’ve turned my attention to making my life a success inshaAllah. If a brother wants to join me in this adventure called life, then I welcome him.

The thoughts of marriage consumes sisters my age and a bit over. In all honestly, I’ve been through the ups and downs of preparing myself emotionally, mentally and physically for marriage( and I still am), I say do what you can, in terms of making your availability known and then have tawakul. BUT, from then on, WORK ON YOURSELF.

What do I mean by that?

Your hopes, your ambitions, your dreams, your love—discover them, nuture them, and try to make them a reality. And, if by Allah(SWT) will you get married, at least you have a clear direction you want to take your life in. But don’t get too caught up in this ‘marraige fixation’.

We all want someone to share our lives with intimately, someone to hold hands with, someone to be our best friends, and someone to take to paradise with us(if Allah permits), but don’t rush into it and don’t act upon immediate desires. Be patient and have tawakul that Allah will give you the right person for you, inshaAllah. You don’t want to end up regretting anything.

I found that having full trust in Allah means ABSOLUTELY NO WORRYING. No worrying at all. Whether he is handsome or not, educated or not, had the eye color you’ve always wanted. Don’t think about that.

Essentially, I am nothere to convince you of marriage,but I am here to speak to the sister who want to get married to fullfill the sunnah, but are finding it hard to do so.

What do I suggest:
1) Learn as much as you can about marriage. You can never be done . There is a wealth of knowledge. I suggest themarriagerevolution, but Sheikh Yaser and His Team or listen to Fiqh of Love by
AlMaghrib Institute Instructor Sheikh Yaser Birjas.

2) Learn about yourself. Who are you? Where do you want to go in life? What dreams and goals do you want
to acheive. Don’t let that die when you get married. If you do get married early, explain that to
your husband. If you have an idea of where you want to take you life, you can compromise better.

3) Be open. If someone comes your way, take it seriously, as Sheikh Yaser would say.The following is advise Sheikh Yaser gave the sisters:

What about the ladies?

As for the ladies, what I always actually hear from them whenever they come to me and they ask me:
“someone proposed to me, what do you think?” They want to ask me for advice: this person is such and such
(and they bring me all of their ideas about him and so on) so what do you think?

So I ask her: “what do you think?”
She says: “well I don’t know if I’m ready or not.” And my initial answer to her usually is that “believe it or not, you will never be ready for marriage; meaning that the feeling that you are
ready for marriage is actually illusive because women are always going to
encounter this feeling of insecurity…

Is he the right person? Is he the best person?

Would it be better if I waited maybe someone else better than him will come?

…and so on.

There is always a level of insecurity on their part and in this case I would say:”You are ready; you are always ready when he comes and proposes. So oncea man proposes, then consider yourself ready for marriage.”

This is a short clip that I have adored since I saw it on television a while back. Watch how this young lady’s face is turned into an airbrush model ad in a few minutes. It captures so many messages in a few minutes. Have a look!

In the Name of Allah, the Most High.

This evening was really interesting. For those remotely interested, I think I’ve discovered through experience what textbook learning could never teach me.

Students Against Isreali Apartheid is a club at my university. The just had an event called “Israeli Crimes, Canadian Complicity—A Panel Discussion with Al-Haq Human Rights Workers from the Occupied West Bank”

My sister(in Islam :] ) and I were there at 7pm(when it started) only to find out it was PACKED TO CAPACITY. I really didn’t think many people would come. There were also a lot of people trying to subdue and stop this event from happening.  we waited for an hour. We didn’t loose hope!

What did I learn? Many things:

1) I may be a realist

     I have been accused of being a realist and also a pessismist. I’ve been in my political science class
     and never once understood critical theories and underpinnings of international relations. Teachers
     rarely delve into these topics. So, we learned realists look at the world as anarchtic. Ok, I never
      really understood what that meant. Until today.

    A young man stood up and asked his question to the panel discussion. He said that he views the world
    like a realist, as in you can’t enforce laws and make sure people comply.

   Ok, people. That may seem lame, but I learned something. That’s essentially what I think of our modern
   world.

   Now, without delving too deep into the Palestinian/Isreali conflict, I want to highlight some key points
   that the audience brought up that I thought were very enlightening.

   1) The issue of the Palestinian/Isreali conflict isn’t a matter of portraying a 1 sided narrative.
       There is a huge IMBALANCE between the living conditions and rights of Palestinians and Isrealis.

   2) The shocker of the night: OUR tax dollars go to funding Isreali settlements on Palestinan land. 
       

    3) The idea of Canadian complicity is kinda hidden. Someone had brought up the idea of Canadians
        living on occupied land as well and how that plays a role in our stance against the occupied area
        in Palestine….to which the speaker replied that we have to find our position in the world and our
        willingness to take part in the world we live it. Essentially, do what you can for those you can help.
        We saw in the summer war of 2006 between Hezbolllah and Isreal, that Canada responded by calling
        it a ‘measured’ response. What does that say?

     5) As people had attempted to shut down the event, it is important to note that we need to be able to 
         have an open discussion about issues such as this.

All the points I have listed were other peoples ideas. I do have an opinion; too tired to debate it on cyberspace. By the way, people who were completely against this were able to speak at the lecture.

In reality, everday could be our last. We’ve heard that, but how many of us believe that.
Not many.
…including myself
because if I did, I’d live like it was my last day.

So, why don’t we live it like it was our last?
too complicated?
belief in future days?
too comfortable?

Without getting philosphical, does living amount to quitting your job, traveling the world, bungee jumping?
If it was your last day, why do we automaticaly resort to fullfilling our desires?
Should our last days be reflective of our former days?

Die as we live, so to speak.

Sometimes, I complicate things. But I wonder about the day I will die. What state? Where? How? What hour?

In reality, I found preparing for death is living life. Just ignore the instant irony of that.

-depthofthought

(Everything Happens Because Allah(SWT) wills it)

MyEmpire

If I had it my way, I’d rule the world without fear my family would tell me I wouldn’t make money doing it.
I’d be a filmmaker. Go to college, without feeling stupid.
I’d tear up my metaphysical degree and spit on it.
Ladies, I have an empire in my pocket.
Somewhere between searching for Quranic wisdom and ignoring the catastropic rage
Politics became my aquiantance
I am not all that I could be.
If I had it my way, I’d eat clouds, chase dreams and stars. Pray all night long with no fatigue.
Knowledge is known, not understood, it’s underdemanded, under paid, under fed
My Empire is no more than freedom
Based on God’s teachings, it tells you to be you
tells humans to thinks, fuels artists and opens the mind.

So, I read because
Study because
Cry, Work, Laugh, Strive because
…..
I ignored that empire
…waiting in my pocket
ruling kingdoms of dreams

instead abiding by what society says I should be

My thoughts are with the victim.

…which is doubtably me.

-depthofthought